Class matters—so do joy and pleasure

“Solidarity with the poor is the only path that can lead our nation back to a vision of community that can effectively challenge and eliminate violence and exploitation. It invites us to embrace an ethics of compassion and sharing that will renew a spirit of loving kindness and communion that can sustain and enable us to live in harmony with the whole world.”
– bell hooks in class matters: where we stand

BERLIN,

Thursday, February 25th, 2021

Good afternoon loved ones,
as I am writing this, I am just eating some candy between calls. Green and blue ones. Oh, and bright yellow ones as well. Yes, the sour kind. I selected each piece from a candy store in the Kiez [Berlinerish for "neighborhood"] last weekend. It's 5.15pm and in today's online therapy session earlier, I told my therapist that I've been thinking about class and classism because I finished reading bell hooks' class matters. I shared about the shame I experienced growing up, feeling ashamed stepping into a McDonald's and sometimes, whenever my mum had a shift, I would walk in with my group of friends and ignore her. Half of them knew, half of them did not. At lunch, I said to my boyfriend: "Yep, I feel ashamed for having done that." My therapist challenged me to return to my inner child and instead of intellectualising everything I see and experience, from the present to the past, instead of trying to build some distance, how about I accept what it was back then? That especially as a teen you just want to fit in and belong. She said: "I understand you're working on your master thesis right now, but how about we leave the academic space and you take care of your inner child again? The 13-year-old Huyền." How about you just hug her and say it's okay.

I wanted to share the above quote with you and maybe, if you have not, you might want to pick up bell hooks' book. I loved how she made the topics around class, consumerism and greed relatable, how she shared her own experiences growing up with several siblings in a patriarchal household, with a father who would keep some money to himself and limiting the amount of money spent for necessities. She would speak about bordering classes, how transitioning into the upper class also meant that white folx expected her to give up the working class she came from. They not only do not want to speak about class, they also try to ignore your questions and concerns about it.

In the same therapy session, my therapist said to me: "You tend to overthink and overcompensate, even with academia, do you know why that is?" Well, I said to her, in addition to trying to distance myself from my own past experiences, maybe I try to put things into systems and structures and theories and concepts for me to better understand? "Okay, I understand. How about we continue looking into pop culture. Something that feeds your inner child, something that brings you joy, something less serious." So, pop culture... okay, I told her that I was watching Nora from Queens, and was excited to watch Raya and The Last Dragon in the upcoming days. And Minari, too. I've started running again which has been incredibly helpful and utilising a habit tracker, a recommendation by Faith, has been so much fun. I love filling out the squares with my coloured pencils. (Also, please check out her everyday equity habit tracker as well!) The last few times when we started exploring different parts of myself, my therapist also mentioned: "See, your face just changed completely, let's try to explore those facets, the fun and loving kind, of you more." If you have been doing some sort of education, public health, social justice, activism, organising work, and even if not, if you have been feeling down and frustrated, maybe this is a nudge for you, too to step out into other areas of your life, into exploring your own inner child, once in a while. Start with: what makes you curious? It led me to stacking chairs, while cleaning the other day. Fun!

I am listening to: the podcast 190220, which my journalist friend Sham co-wrote and co-produced with other lovely human beings. I've only started listening but in here, the family and community members of the Hanau shootings are able to voice their grief. Be emotionally prepared, as they did such an incredible job analysing open questions and putting Hanau into a larger context full of compassion and care. [Returning to class,] one of her colleagues Şeyda Kurt actually shared this important fact on twitter as well: "The Hanau victims have one more thing in common: They have a similar socio-economic background. They do not come from academic, middle-class families; some of them grew up in poverty, in working-class families with a history of migration or refugees." Something to think about more. This podcast is available in German language only. Please also continue raising awareness for the two initiatives 19th February Hanau and Bildungsinitiative Ferhat Unvar.

I am watching: Steve McQueen's Small Axe five-part film documentary which portray the lives of West Indians in the U.K. between the 1960s to 80s as well as Michaela Cole's important work of I May Destroy You on sexual violence apart from anticipating the movies I already mentioned above.

I am reading: still... (but I am already 500+ pages into it, so definitely want to finish) Obama's A Promised Land. Maxine Hong Kingston's The Woman Warrior and Living a Feminist Life by Sara Ahmed. Also, I am in week 11 of Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way, a spiritual guide and workbook to connect yourself to your inner creative child. Plus, I added the Feelings Wheel on top again for you to download, print out and cut out. I've been using it to observe my feelings and vocalise my needs better. Fun fact: two friends and I are currently translating this into Vietnamese language, let's see how we can share this for you as well :) Apart from this, I am curiously awaiting Viet Thanh Nguyen's The Committed.

I am eating: mate ice cream as we explored an Argentinian owned local ice cream shop down the street yesterday and for the lunar new year (damn! I miss grand family gatherings) online festivities, I made some Vietnamese fried spring rolls. First time, first try, all by myself! Yayyy :) It was super yummy! I quickly googled a recipe if you wanna try it out yourself. This one sounds similar to what I cooked up from my own memory, remembering what my mum would add to hers.

I am drinking: loads of turmeric chai and milk.

Picture of the Minari director Lee Isaac Chung and the cast: Steven Yeun, Han Ye-ri,
Yoon Yeo-jeong, Alan S. Kim and Noel Cho.

Happy belated lunar new year to you, your family and friends, your community members. May we stay persistent and continue to build stamina as we create the future in the present. Lots of love and stay safe everyone, xx
Huyền